We started this blog almost 2 years ago to the day. In those 2 years I have been asked on numerous occasions if I am a feminist. When approached about this topic and asked this question people are asking in a very judgemental way as if being a feminist is a horrible thing. The reason our group and organization is focus on single MOTHERS is because that is who we, as single mothers relate to and those single mothers in need of support can relate more to us on a personal level thus making it easier to assist with their needs. A single mother and a single father are very very different and both require different support. Although we have and we can assist a single father with certain needs we tend to focus more on single mothers for those reasons.So back to being a feminist, while being asked on numerous occasions if I am a feminist I always feel the need to defend myself because of the way I am constantly approached about it. I feel the need to explain why we focus on single mothers and in reality I should be supporting feminism because I am a female and you know what? I believe in equality for women and women’s rights, I believe that each women should be heard as well as seen, I believe women have the right to an equal pay cheque and education as men do, I believe that women are strong, beautiful and independent. By believing in this do I hate men? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! By being a feminist do I degrade the male population?? NO!!!! By standing up and believing that women should have equal rights I am simply being on the side of my gender and support women who do not have equality in this world. So for those of you who are wondering I AM A FEMINIST!!!!! My question today is why should we label such as feminists? All women everywhere should stand up for one another and support each other. There should not be a label on that, that is our right and our nature. We care, we love, we nurture, we grow, we work, we educate and we support each other. You don’t have to be a feminist to understand that women are still not treated with the same respect as men and although the world has become a much more acceptable place when it comes to gender roles and rights we still have a lot of work to do. Next time I am approached about this topic I will no longer feel the need to defend myself because I am a strong, hard working independent woman and I am lucky enough to be in the position I am today and ALL women deserve to be treated the same!!!! BE A FEMINIST WITHOUT THE LABEL!!! Be proud of who you are!-Staci SMFS
a pacifier (noun) : a means to child dependency and oral fixation
Well, the blog topic of discipline really put me in a spin. It’s always such a difficult thing to discuss because there are so many opinions and so many people ready to judge. There are certain taboos about disciplining children. It’s hard to know whether you are making the right choices because there is always so much outside input. I think being single parents makes it even more difficult because outsiders feel more that the need to give there opinions and “help out” about the right ways to raise children. I appreciate and thank everyone who thinks they have great advice, but please, STOP! Too much information makes me over think all the decisions I am making as a mother which has caused me to flip flop between discipline styles leading to a lack of controlled and routine discipline. I’ve only recently figured out what really works with us and what Layton responds to. I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m mom of the year and do everything exactly as I should… things were a MESS. I had an uncontrollable menace of a child, and it’s definitely taken time to figure out what works with him. He is an extremely strong willed boy and very sensitive to negativity. If I am calm and react to situations in a very mellow way, he listens to me contently. The moment I raise my voice, he fights back. The most important thing that I have learned is that love will solve most issues we face. Almost every time Layton acts out and wants to battle, a hug will calm him right down. So, in short, I guess my discipline style revolves around the expression of peace and love.
Oh the D word. Yes. Discipline. As kids, we all dreaded it… be it a time out, a toy taken away, no dessert or a simple N-O. I always thought the terrible twos
and threes and fours would be the biggest test of patience before the teens. What I didn’t quite anticipate was an expanded vocabulary, a cunning mind and a sassy personality. I was brought up being physically disciplined with a spanking for misbehaving (and I’m not complaining or judging… I did turn out amazing-ish). As a parent myself, I don’t really see the point. I attempted time outs and just never felt it helped either.
On a similar topic to Kimmy’s, sometimes kids lack the proper perception of time. It happens! As a tired mom, sometimes my choice on how to deal with the problem just enables it. In the past, if Aliyah woke up my first solution was for her to sleep with me. Bad idea. Second solution was to sleep with her. Also bad idea. To get her used to sleeping on her own it should stay that way and I just had to push myself not to give in (or become lazy).